The “Face Slap Reset”

Have you ever noticed how – when your man slaps your face – every thought and emotion you had at the time suddenly becomes reset?

A face slap grounds you.  It helps you to realize how emotional, hormonal, and irrational you were being just a second or two before. It helps you understand that you were not thinking logically.

Best of all, it reminds you that he’s in control of everything – your world, your emotions, and your body.

When he slaps your face – and he will, eventually, if you allow yourself to become to over-emotional – remember to thank him for bringing you back down to earth.

A firm slap to your cheek is one of the greatest gifts he can give you when your world seems to be spiraling out of control.

-VIS

The Gentleman’s Times – Life Is Chess

Is chess just a silly board game for old people?  Or can it teach you strategies for a successful life?

I often encourage young men to learn to play chess – and there are some very specific reasons for doing so.

While playing chess, you’re forced to think at least three moves ahead of your opponent.  Anticipating their next move, your countermove, then their countermove teaches the ability to expect the unexpected – and prepare for it.  That job you were counting on didn’t come through?  That’s okay.  You expected that move.  That’s why you’ve already got two or three others lined up.  Your paycheck fell short of expectations?  That’s okay.  You expected that move.  That’s why you’ve got two months’ salary in your savings account.

Chess also teaches a young man to be skeptical about assuming the intentions of others.  In chess, your opponent may take a pawn with another pawn just to distract you from their real target – your queen.  Your flirty crush ended up going on a date with your best friend?  That’s okay.  You saw her intended target weeks ago – that’s why you’ve been oversharing some of her major flaws with him.  Your boss moved you laterally within the company to a department he knew you didn’t like?  That’s okay.  You knew the intended target was to get you out the door.  That’s why you sent a resume to your company’s main competitor who is desperate for inside dirt on their rival.

Believe it or not, chess can help you better understand Traditional Gender Role relationships, too.  You see, in chess, the king can move in any direction – but only one square at a time.  The queen, however, can move in any direction, any distance she wants.  This teaches young men that – as the king in a Traditional Gender Role relationship – there is only so much he can do to influence others.  And when his options are limited, he’s confident that his queen has the charm, grace, and femininity to influence those he cannot.

When I was young, if I wanted to play a challenging game of chess, I was able to play against my father.  But if he didn’t want to play, I had to travel across town to the local chess club – if it was open – to play a decent game.  Now, young men can simply pull out their phones and play chess on thousands of different skill levels – from absolute novice to Grandmaster.

And while reading blogs about Traditional Gender Roles and life in general might provide young men with a few memorable quotes on how to handle situations that may arise in life, chess teaches strategies, tactics, alternate and critical thinking, anticipation of action, how to avoid red herrings, and so much more.

Blogs are fine.  But nothing will teach a young man more about the game of life than chess.  And after he’s been playing for several years, he will discover an incredible truth:

Life is chess.  And if he has mastered the chessboard, he will master life itself.


Life Is Chess.  The Gentleman’s Times, April 24, 2019.  Copyright © April 24, 2019 by Vintage In Stepford, All Rights Reserved.

Give Her A Name That Suits Her

If you and your girl have chosen to rename her, choose something that suits her personality.

When babies are born, parents choose a name knowing nothing about whom the child will become.  But you, as her Traditional Man, know her better than her parents did when she was born, so choose something that suits her.

Is she a talented musician?  Perhaps Melodie would suit her.  Is she interested in gardening?  Perhaps Rose is an appropriate name.  Does she love old movies?  Perhaps name her after an old-time movie star.
Or, perhaps, make up a name out of thin air that you feel best reflects her personality.

Whenever you call her by her new name, she’s certain to feel the sense of ownership it projects.  Like a tug on a leash, she’ll learn to respond better to her new name than her old one.

-VIS

The Most Misunderstood Verses Of Scripture

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”  – Ephesians 5:22

This Scriptural verse is often quoted as an example of how women are to behave – submissive and obedient, without questioning the husband who is the head of the wife.  And it’s true.  Wives are expected to be obedient to their husbands, not grieve their husbands by nagging, and follow the instructions and directions given to them by their husbands.  This is Godliness.

But we often ignore what Paul said just three verses later:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25

Yes, the wife is to submit to the husband.  But at the same time, the husband is to love his wife so much that he is able to put aside his pride when he is wrong, change his decision when his wife advises a better direction, and generally respect his wife’s words.  Don’t shut her down and don’t shut her out.  She has concerns – valid concerns – about the decisions her husband makes.  It’s the husband’s job not to ignore those fears and concerns but, rather, comfort and strengthen her if his decision is final or change his decision if his wife is able to raise concerns which hadn’t occurred to him.

Christ loved his followers so much that he sacrificed his life for them, and husbands have a duty to make the sacrifices of ego and pride if they’re headed in the wrong direction.

Leadership is not about having the final word.  Leadership is about listening to every member of the team and making the decision that is best for everyone involved.

-VIS

How To Make Your Dog Sit

From the #1 New Release, “A Man Explained It To Me!: Everyday Topics Mansplained So Well That Even A Woman Can Understand Them” by Mr. V. I. Stepford, available here.

Dog are super smart and they love to get rewards.  So, to make your dog sit, all you need is a few treats and some patience.

Stand in front of your dog and say, “sit!”  If he sits, give him the treat and say “good boy!” or “good girl!”, then make him walk around a little and do the same thing again. If he sits again, give him another treat.

But if he doesn’t sit, there’s an easy way to get him to do so.  Dangle the treat in front of his nose while saying “sit!”  If he still doesn’t sit, move the treat over his snout to the back of his head.  You’ll notice his nose will follow the treat and he’ll raise his nose.  As he raises his nose, his backside will automatically drop to the ground.  When he sits, give him the treat and say, “good boy!” or “good girl!” and praise your dog.  Give him scratches and love.

Keep doing this over and over until your dog knows that the word “sit” means he has to put his backside down.

See? You’re smarter than a dog!

-VIS

The Future Is Female

You see it everywhere.  “The Future Is Female.”  And it’s true.  The future is female.

But not the way they think.

The future is female because smart men are working hard every day to make sure good girls are more comfortable in their roles as homemakers.  Clever male designers like Christian Louboutin are making sexier shoes for girls.  Intelligent men like Ian Lobley are running companies like Agent Provocateur to provide girls with the sexiest lingerie in the world.  Innovative men like James Dyson are making better, more efficient vacuum cleaners. Male-led companies like General Electric are creating smart appliances that save girls time and effort when doing “women’s work.”

And because very smart men have been working so hard to make homemaking easier, men will be able to enjoy a cleaner home, better food, and more intimate time with better-dressed, prettier girls.  And our girls will be less stressed and happier because of our efforts.

When it comes to helping good girls become happier, prettier, and more domestic, men are working very hard every day to ensure that the future is indeed female.

-VIS

When you submit …

You don’t have to decide.

You don’t have to stress.

You don’t have to be something you’re not.

When you submit …

You are free from decisions

You are free from stress.

You are free to be your true self.

When you submit …

You will discover a universal Truth:

There really is freedom in chains.

-VIS

Gentlemen, Carry A Knife

I’ve seen many young gentlemen being given a box, then pulling out a key to open it.

If you want to be seen as a gentleman, you need to carry a knife of some kind.  Pocket knives – such as Old Timer and Swiss Army – are the most unobtrusive but some men, such as myself, carry “multi-tools” capable of 20 or more functions (such as Leatherman or Gerber) – one of which is almost always a razor sharp blade.

Carrying a blade can be incredibly handy.  It’s not just an issue of opening letters and boxes.  If you’re witness to a car accident and the vehicle is engulfed in flames, you can rescue victims quickly by pulling out your knife and cutting the seat belts.  If an animal is tangled in something, your knife can save its life.

A gentleman cares about every life around him, and carrying a blade – whether an Old Timer pocket blade or more robust Leatherman Surge multi-tool – will allow you to protect those lives before First Responders can arrive.

And ladies, a knife is always appreciated by your man as a gift.  You can never go wrong by buying a man a blade for his birthday, anniversary, or Christmas.

A gentleman carries many things – honor, courage, wisdom – but one of the most practical things any gentleman carries is a good quality blade.

-VIS

On Being A Hypnotist

Seriously, gentlemen, get your Certified Hypnotist or Certified Hypnotherapist certificate.

I got my CHT back in 1996 and it’s always such great fun to hypnotize a girl and play tricks with her mind.

Since I’ve had my certificate, I haven’t yet dated a girl who didn’t eventually ask me to hypnotize her.  And once it starts, her mind becomes a beautiful playground for you both to explore.

Besides, she’ll think it’s hot af.

-VIS

His Win-Win Final Decision

Yes, as a traditional girl, you should be deferring every single decision to your man. But if you want to be happy with his decision, you need to limit his options so that you’re both happy.

How would you limit his options?

Let’s say you’re going to the salon to get new nails.  They have a selection of 150 colors, but you want him to decide which color he wants you to have.  You could send him a picture of all 150 colors and let him choose, but if he chooses a color you don’t particularly like, you’re forced to obey, but deep inside, you may resent his decision a little.

So, what do you do?

Of the 150 colors, choose 10-15 that you really, really like.  Once you have them all collected so that they’ll fit into a single photograph, take a picture and send it to him.

No matter which one of the ten to fifteen colors he chooses, you’ll be content with his decision.

You can apply this same principle to anything – hair styles, hair colors, clothing, food, or drink.  If you limit his options to those you like then leave the final decision to him, a wonderful thing happens:

He gets to decide for you, and no matter what he chooses, you’re happy with his decision.

It’s win-win.

-VIS

Misogynist vs. Sexist

A misogynist believes that, because you’re a female, you need to be broken and kept in your place to make him happy.

A sexist believes that, because you’re a female, you’re inherently broken, and that with his support, guidance, boundaries, appreciation, and routine, you can be built up to make you happy.

-VIS

Copyrights

I just want to remind everyone that all of my original material here is copyrighted.

Today, I was notified that a user on Reddit by the name of u/ViolentDesires79 has, on multiple occasions, copied and pasted my material (without credit to me) to the subreddit r/maleledrelationships.

In response, I have filed multiple copyright violations with Reddit providing ample evidence that I am the copyright holder.  I expect Reddit to take action against the individual in question within a few days.

I want everyone to be aware that I am a professional writer and take copyright violations very seriously, as does my attorney.  Simple matters like this are handled easily through website Copyright Violation reporting.  However, in cases where an individual continues to violate my copyrights, I have – and will – involve my attorney.

But to those of you who are ethical, decent individuals, I appreciate you following and reading my material.

-VIS